Intentional Mentoring & Discipleship

So, here are three reasons why intentionally discipling, mentoring and coaching new converts and emerging leaders is so important to me. And why I would invite you to consider how you can do the same.


1. Brad Harper - His Ministry Example to Me 

It was 1986 or 1987. I was 24/25 years old and 3-years old in the Lord. As a first generation adult convert, I was passionate about the gospel, the freedom of grace and the Spirit's presence. I was excited to talk to others about the gospel without guilt or fear and enjoyed the authentic  community I found at and Evangelical Free Church recently planted in St. Louis. I was eager to grow so I was an engaged listener of sermons and learning how to lead Bible discussions.

But as great as all that was, Brad Harper was the game changer in my life.

Brad invited me to join him for breakfast to discuss a ministry he wanted to start to reach out to young single adults in the area.

That breakfast became 3 years of breakfasts at IHOP or Po' Folks. We discussed Bob Dylan, Willie Mays, Packer's Knowing God, Woody Allen movies, marriage, ministry, grace and freedom in Christ.  He also invited me to minister to others under his coaching and I worked with him to reach out to young twenty-somethings in St. Louis. A ministry that bore much fruit for many years and that is still being multiplied through families and friendship networks today.

More important than those discussions, I was given close enough access to watch and listen to him navigate life as a follower of Jesus. As a husband. As a pastor. As a doctoral student. As a Californian living in the midwest.

I cannot point to anything that "he taught me" ... but because of that access, I learned so much by watching and listening to him that in many ways, I have become like him.  And I learned mostly from his example. Brad was a game changer for me.


2. Jesus: His Ministry Example to the Twelve

So during those years with Brad and with his encouragement (and the elders at the Free Church in St. Louis),  I resigned my engineering position at  to pursue graduate studies in Theology at Trinity Evangelical Divinity School (TEDS).

During my second year, I was on a quest to figure out what would be the best way to make a difference in God's Kingdom. And the answer at TEDS was preaching expositional sermons from a pulpit in a church building on Sunday mornings. Though I was and still am a big fan of that last sentence, something stuck in my craw back then that this could not be it completely.

So I was hunting for more.

Then in a class taught by Dr. John Nyquist, we were required to read the book you see to your right. Little did I know the gift this book

This little gem is still one of my top 10 most influential books I have read.

It a nutshell, Coleman simply and masterfully lays out Jesus approach to his ministry. And he makes clear that Jesus'  most important ministry was his intentional life-on-life ministry with the 12 disciples. And that more than anything else, it was his intentionally moving away from the masses (the thousands in some cases) to spend inordinate amounts of time with the Twelve that was the key for the difference Jesus made.

And the second chapter entitled "Association" was the Rosetta Stone for my mind, heart and life.  And these two pages below started the shift in my thinking. Reading them again today still brings deep primal resonance in my heart.   It struck me how intentional he was to walk away from the crowds to invest in a few and let the few be close to him.

And that the "secret" was he just let the Twelve be with him in the everyday of eating, ministering together, engaging people and the cultural expectations of his day. He let them follow his example. He did it intentionally.

Pretty much what I had experienced with Brad Harper.

Jesus example and humility profoundly affected me especially since the Evangelical Church was moving into the season when "mega" became a common prefix for churches and preachers became rock stars in the church sub-culture. Personally, I was intoxicated with the idea of becoming one of those preacher/teachers. So Jesus example of not becoming intoxicated by the crowds who followed and fawned over him was powerfully shaping for me.

So this hooked me. I was not sure how I was going to do this or who I would do with it. But I committed myself to trying to follow Jesus in the doing of ministry - regularly saying no to the masses so that I could intentionally invest in a few for the sake of the masses.

Here is a quick 6 page summary of Coleman's work and you can purchase the book at Amazon.  I think it is out of print but if so my hunch is not for long. I have read many more books about discipleship over my 25 years in ministry but none compare to the gem! So .. I will go out on a limb and predict it will be reprinted in the next couple of years. You can say you heard it here first.

3. Paul - His Example as an Apostle to the Church

So during that same "hunting season", there was this rainstorm of thoughts found in Paul's letters to the churches. Here are a few key ones that flooded my mind and life.

• "Therefore I urge you to imitate me...." (1 Corinthians 4:16)

• "Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ..."(1 Corinthians 11:1)

• "Join together in following my example, brothers and sisters, and just as you have us as a model, keep your eyes on those who live as we do." (Philippians 4:9)

• "For you yourselves know how you ought to follow our example." (2 Thessalonians 3:7)

There are others ... but these will do to get the theme. 

Collected together, these became a flood because this was not Jesus saying "follow my example". This was Paul of Tarsus who had been a persecutor of the church and self described "chief of sinners" who also said: 

• "I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do... For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out..." (Roman 7:15-20)

So it was very encouraging and challenging to see Paul holding himself as an example to follow despite his sins and flaws and inviting people to follow his example. And this despite the reality that he did not have all his shit together when he did. 

And this was important because I was becoming convinced that I was coming close to having a clear answer to my quest. But what caused me to always hold back was knowing that I was often not a great example to follow. And I was quietly ashamed that I could be so deeply judgmental and condemning of others and could lust after people, fame and stuff. And that on most days, I was way more concerned about my own glory than Jesus glory and His Kingdom. 

And so I could say, to myself, "well, you will not be able to lead that way for a long time because you are not Jesus and you are not even Brad." 

But with Paul, I could see that I had the freedom to lead into the Kingdom this way even though I was still working through sin and my unfinished in-process still self. 

And with Paul's example, I made the decision to live and minister following Brad as he followed Jesus and Paul as he followed Jesus. I was going to live this way and ask God to help me be a good example to follow as I followed Jesus and to be humble when I did not and own my sins, shortcomings and weaknesses. 

And so I am committed to invest an inordinate amount of time in a few for the sake of the masses and lead by example and allow key people see what I do and how I do it ... even in the "still in process form" it is today. 


A Final Thought 

So here is final thought. Another Rosetta Stone moment from Robert Coleman. I will let you read over my shoulder for a minute and then make a final comment:

So over the years, I am continued to be challenged by how much time the Evangelical Church pastors collectively spend each week preparing and delivering sermons and how little time Evangelical Church pastors intentionally invite others to be with them, discuss life in Jesus together and pray and minister together. And as I said, I am a big fan of the sermon. I have worked hard to be better at this task.

But honestly ... I think we give it too much importance for actually changing people. (I think I might have just spoken heresy there  ... but I stand by it.)

Without the intentional invitation to others to spend time with me, to associate with me and be with me, the pressure on me to be really really really good at the craft of preaching sermons. First, so good that people can remember what I said (which is really hard to do). Second, so good that my words and ideas can compete with TED talks and sermons available online from really great communicators. Not to mention, that I can learn from the best professors online anymore ... and so can my people.

But we have made the sermon the thing and God's people have prioritized it by following our example.

But I wonder if our time might not be better spent by investing more in a few for the sake of the masses.